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The Ultimate Sploshers Guide To Cake Batter - Recipes, Mixing & Cleaning

Updated: Jan 23, 2023



Preparing Cake Batter For WAM


To prepare cake batter, you can use boxes or bags of cake mix or sponge mix, or create your own with flour, oil, eggs, caster sugar and water.


Some WAM fans refer to it as cake batter 'slime', but... it's just cake batter and not related to any of the gunges and slimes usually thought of as slime and it's important not to muddle the two, because cake batter sometimes needs a little more careful attention to clean up, as you'll see in this article, or as you may know already from the flour blobs article.


If you want slime or gunge, I wrote about all of those here


My Method


My favourite mix is 1kg flour, a whole jar of cocoa powder, 6 eggs, 200g caster sugar and 500ml oil and as much water as it takes to get the right consistency (I’ve never measured exactly, so just have some water ready and add it a little at a time during mixing)


Start by mixing together your eggs, sugar and oil in a separate mixing bowl


Pour the flour and cocoa powder into a bucket, make a well in the centre and add the egg, sugar and oil mixture. Stir it together carefully, squashing any lumps. Use a hand mixer if it makes your arm ache.


Slowly add water, 100ml at a time, and mix with a hand mixer until it reaches the thickness you would like


Don't add water too fast, it’s too easy to accidentally end up with a milkshake consistency which is way too thin.


Repeat the process for extra buckets, and try leaving out the cocoa powder but adding other things if you want different colours and flavours.


Don't try to mix up more than this in one go because you'll get too many lumps. Keep repeating this process and fill your buckets one batch at a time.



maria mypierogative pouring chocolate cake batter over brandi
Maria pours cake batter over Brandi


Flavourings & Colourings


For chocolatey cake batter, add cocoa powder or hot chocolate mix. For vanilla, add vanilla essence. Other flavourings can be used too, like strawberry, raspberry or caramel, by using essences or syrups in your mix.


If it’s just going to get used for splosh play, it doesn’t have to taste perfect, so don’t worry too much about exact recipes.


If you use food colouring, be careful of potential staining. Poster paint can be used to colour cake batter as a safer, non staining alternative. Example picture below where I did this.



messy model aston covered in cake batter
Aston cake batter carnage


Flourless Recipes


I sometimes use cheap hot chocolate mix alone - no flour needed. Add water slowly and mix until it is your preferred consistency.


Allow 2 to 3 of these plastic jars for a big bowl, and use a spatula to mix and incorporate all the dry powder - last time I bought some, the value ranges had even cheaper ones but I couldn't find those today. Do check your local stores though for an essentials or value brand version.



hot chocolate mix great for sploshing
Hot Chocolate Mix

For a bulk version of this and even cheaper, just copy the ingredients of the cheap hot chocolate. Cocoa powder, dried milk powder and sugar. The milk and sugar help to make it glossy.


Again, no need for flour - start with mixing a kilo of cocoa, half a kilo of sugar and half a kilo of milk powder with a little hot water at a time (the heat helps dissolve the sugar granules) until you find the thickness you prefer. Add each batch to a bucket and repeat until you have the desired bulk amount.


I've also used protein powder before. I had a couple of huge plastic jars that had expired the use by date, so I mixed those up adding a little water here and there and it became a very similar consistency to cake batter, but also quite slimy. It was great fun! Another one to be careful of adding too much water though.


These flourless mixes are a little easier to mix directly in the bucket too, but use a spatula to frequently check you've got all the dry powders incorporated from the bottom of the bucket.



Special Note


If you’ve used flour or cake batter to get messy before, you likely had globs of gluten stuck in your hair, even if you couldn’t feel it right away. Yep, those weird squishy blobs are the gluten left behind once all the starch is washed away - and they go rock hard if they dry out!


This is a great video explaining gluten: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDEcvSc2UKA or search YouTube for ‘gluten demonstration’ and the video title is ‘Science: What is Gluten? Here's How to See and Feel Gluten’ and I wrote a long article all about it too, but most of the advice is repeated here.



gluten free flour for cake batter wam sploshing
Gram flour


Other Alternatives


If you don't want to use the flourless versions with hot chocolate mix described above, the best alternative flour I’ve found is chickpea flour or gram flour. Other gluten free flours tend to be gritty and don’t give that lovely smooth cake batter effect. Pictured above.


Or, as demonstrated in the video I linked, if you use flour specifically intended for making cakes, it has a much lower gluten percentage than all purpose or strong flours.


Boxed & Bagged Cake Mixes


Using boxed cake mixes can work well too, including putting in the oil and other things it requires. The box mixes tend to be made with cake flour which is lower in gluten.


The problem with box mixes is the expense, especially if you are trying to make a bulk lot of cake batter. Also see my notes about raising agents in the labelled paragraph below.


It’s cheaper to make your own with all purpose flour, and if you financially have no choice but to make your own, at least you know what to do now to get rid of the inevitable globs left behind!


To mix up bulk amounts of boxed or bagged cake mixes for sploshing, just follow the directions on the packet and scale it up according to how much you want, using a calculator if need be.


Remember it’s easy to accidentally make it too thin, so be very careful with any calculations on water and oil.


Beware Of Raising Agents


If using a boxed cake mix, (or self raising flour) be careful because a raising agent is usually already included, like self raising flour or baking powder. When mixed, the batter will inflate and rise as it stands and may spill out of your bucket.


You can keep an eye on it and keep stirring to knock out all the air, but I prefer using my all purpose flour or hot chocolate version with no raising agents.


Look what happened to my pool when I filled it with porridge and flour - I hadn't realised the flour was self raising!



cake batter spilling out of my pool
Sploshy Spillage



Cleaning Up Cake Batter



Hair, Body & Skin



Skin

It shouldn't be too difficult to remove from your skin. I recommend those plastic loofahs or bath puffs, made of scrunched up plastic mesh for removing any mess from skin, or a soft bristled body brush. Add lots of warm water and shower gel or soap.


Having a mirror within your line of sight in the bathroom so you can visually check for any missed areas is great. You can stop it from steaming up by giving it a super thin coating of washing up liquid/dish soap.


Common areas I used to miss were backs of arms, flanks, backs of legs and ankles. Always check every single crevice of your ears too!



Hair

While your hair is wet you may not be able to feel gluten blobs, so if you’ve used cake batter or flour, or flour and water mixed, just presume you DO have gluten stuck in your hair and proceed with these instructions regardless, even if you can’t feel anything weird.


First of all, if you have hair longer than ear length you need lots of conditioner and a wide toothed comb - don’t try to comb through with a normal comb. Be patient, let the conditioner soak into your hair for a while if need be, ideally while wearing a shower cap to keep the moisture in.


Then methodically use the wide toothed comb starting at the ends first and working up to roots. Then you can use a tighter/smaller comb to get smaller bits out, rinsing the comb as you go.


Then rinse the whole lot off and shampoo twice. This also applies to body hair and pubic hair, by the way.




If it’s too late and the gluten has already dried solid in your hair

Just get your hair wet, apply conditioner and a shower cap, and leave it on for 2 hours, then proceed with the combing out, rinsing and shampooing.


Don’t attempt to pull solidified gluten out of your hair unless you want to break and/or lose half of it!






Cleaning Your Items & Objects



Baths & Showers



Try to avoid using your bath or shower for a messy session if possible. It means you have to clean that up before you can get yourself clean, and they can be extra slippery and dangerous.


Use a pool, inflatable massage mat or a makeshift messy pool where possible (I use heavy grade plastic sheeting, propped up around the edges with rolled up towels or pool noodles)


If you need to clean cake batter out of the bath, it does usually go down the drain pretty easily as long as there are no large lumps. Thin it down with extra water, swirl, whisk and swish in some washing up liquid too.


Afterwards, use an antibacterial spray all over the area, and dry it off with kitchen paper.




Cleaning An Inflatable Massage Sheet


if you have the one pictured above or one similar, scoop out and dispose of any leftovers and then you can leave it inflated and prop it up in your shower to clean it. The lack of bulky high sides means this is just about manageable, and leaving it inflated allows it to stand up and exposes all nook and crannies for thorough cleaning.


Scoop any leftovers out first because it is quite large and floppy and will spill if you try to carry it full of stuff (you might get away with it if you have an extra person to help, but I still wouldn't risk it if it's very full)



Inflatable Pools


If you want to clean and save the pool


My general pool cleaning advice applies. Scoop it up into buckets, watering it down and mixing it around to thin it if need be. Then tip it down the drain or flush it down the loo. Then tip a bucket of warm soapy water into your pool, and give it a good scrub around with a brush.


Now scoop all that out and tip it away or flush the water, and keep the pool inflated the whole time, then clean the sides of the pool with a few microfibre cloths, a soft brush and a cleaning spray. Then with it still inflated, stand it up against a wall and use the cleaning spray and cloths all over it.


Dry it thoroughly with towels or kitchen roll and then allow to thoroughly air dry, still inflated, before trying to pack it away. If any moisture remains when you deflate and fold it to store it, it will go mouldy.


I recently wrote an even more in depth guide to pool cleaning with step by step instructions from prep to finish, and my thoughts on wet/dry vacuums and lining the pool with plastic. To read that, go here


Tools I recommend include a scrub daddy or scrubbing brush, microfibre cloths, a dustpan or scoop and a squeegee, and some of those items I have specific recommendations for here


If you want to throw away the pool


If you used a small pool and a bucket or less of porridge/other mess in total, you may be able to simply pop it and put it into a bin bag. If you do this, secure the first bin bag and then add another to be sure of no leaking. I often use three bin bags with this method, and with any other messy things containing any leftover liquid that have to be thrown away.


If you used a large inflatable pool and a large amount of mess


You'll need to scoop out and flush everything before trying to bag it, or it will be too heavy. 10 litres is one bucket, and is the equivalent of 10kg. Even if you are strong enough to lift it easily, you risk the bin bag tearing if the contents are too heavy.



Cleaning Clothes


Ideally take them into the shower with you to rinse them off a little and squeeze them out. Be careful with water temperature if any items are dark in colour in case the colour runs. Then wrap them up in a large clean towel or two, or drop them into a clean bucket so they don’t drip on the way to your washing machine.


Be mindful of the weight, wet or sploshed clothes are often heavy, so don't overload your machine. Give them one washing cycle with no laundry liquid, and then another washing cycle or two with the usual amount of laundry liquid and fabric conditioner.



Underwear, Lingerie, Tights & Stockings


If you fill cheap tights or stockings with cake batter, it's easiest to just throw them away. The washing machine won’t be able to wash away all the sticky goo, and gluten will remain trapped in some parts of the nylon and become solid as it dries out.


If they were expensive or you really want to save them, rinse them in the shower, turning inside out to get all the globs washed away and then put them in a zip up mesh laundry bag, separate from everything else.


It's especially important to keep them separate from bras or anything with clasps or fastenings, as they will get snagged, rip and be difficult to untangle.


You could also keep them separate to hand wash on their own. Bras, teddies, babydoll nighties, basques etc all need their own zip up mesh laundry bags, or like with tights and stockings, keep them separate for thorough hand washing individually.


Shoes


You can wash most shoes in the sink with warm soapy water as though you were washing dishes. Some shoes like trainers and flat ballet pumps can instead be put into a zip up mesh laundry bag and washed in the washing machine.


To dry shoes, stuff them with newspaper or kitchen paper and leave them somewhere warm, but away from direct heat



Wigs


For wigs, hand washing is best. Be very gentle and use shampoo twice, rinsing each time. Then liberally soak it with hair conditioner and leave it for at least 30 minutes. Brush it out gently with a wet brush or wide toothed comb, and graduate to a tighter comb if any gluten blobs are stuck.


A wet brush is a great invention (and is the name of the brand) It's very gentle and good for head hair too. Rinse thoroughly and wrap it in a towel, then apply pressure to dry it a little, do not rub it.


Keep it away from direct heat to dry it, preferably hanging on something rounded to help it keep its shape, like a mannequin head.



model cleo summers cake batter poured on head
Cleo & coloured cake batter


Who Am I?


And why do I know stuff?


Well, I'm a UK based WAM producer and sometimes model with 15 years experience. For over 10 of those years I hosted a bonkers amount of wam sessions (3 or 4 a week) and I consider myself very lucky to have been able to do so... however I had to get very good at cleaning up quickly in the fairly small window of privacy I would get, and I had to leave no trace due to living in rented accommodation.


I also had to get inventive with substances and alternatives. I think all my trial and error experiments with WAM now mean there is literally nothing I haven't personally tried and in turn, there's nothing I haven't cleaned up either.


I love when other people go for it and enjoy getting messy, especially if it's because of something I did or said to encourage them. So if you're looking for a sign, this is it.. and with all my articles, I hope to give you the confidence to make your sessions bigger and messier and with a bonus of inner peace, knowing you can easily clean it all up too.


Please share these articles with your favourite wammers, models and content creators or any messy session providers and/or playmates to help give them an easier WAM life.



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1 Comment


Mark Short
Mark Short
Feb 18, 2023

Love licking cake batter off the wife

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