Preparing Spaghetti For Sploshing
Spaghetti is available in tins as hoops, long strands, or alphabetti letter shapes all in regular tomato sauce, and sometimes as long strands in a meaty bolognese sauce, so if you are vegetarian or sploshing with a veggie or vegan, be careful to make sure it's just the tomato sauce version.
Sometimes for spaghetti hoops, they are available in larger plastic packs called ‘fridge packs’ although these tend to be quite expensive. The fridge packs if you can find them and don't mind the cost, are very convenient. The fridge packs only need refrigeration after opening, so don’t look for them in the chilled goods in the supermarket despite the word 'fridge' in the name, you’ll find them amongst the tins and other ambient goods, and sometimes on amazon or approved foods.
For the tins, as with all canned items, for safety please decant them into plastic jugs or bowls.
Give the tins a good shake before opening to loosen the settled pasta pieces, and then use a spoon to get the last bits out of the tin - never be tempted to do this with fingers due to the sharp edges.
For best results, once decanted give them a 30 second blast in the microwave and a good stir, or leave them to come to room temperature. This will give you or your session partner or model a better experience and results.
For the fridge packs, just open the lid and remove the seal, give them a good stir and let them come to room temperature.
Cleaning Up Spaghetti
Skin, Hair & Body
If you are covered in smelly, slightly oily stuff like spaghetti it can leave those orangey tomato stains so it’s best to follow the guidelines for cleaning up oily items. This means cover yourself in neat shower gel and rub it in well before getting wet in the shower.
I highly recommend using warm water and those plastic loofahs or bath puffs, made of scrunched up plastic mesh for removing any mess from skin, or a soft bristled body brush.
To get rid of the oiliness you’ll need a few passes of this method all over, rinsing off each time and doing it all again.
I also recommend having a mirror within your line of sight in the bathroom so you can visually check for any missed areas. Common areas I used to miss were backs of arms, flanks, backs of legs and ankles. Always check every crevice of your ears too!
For short haired people
Use lots of strongly scented lemon or tea tree shampoo or both. Shampoo twice, leaving the shampoo on for as long as you can each time to help neutralise any odours and oils of the savoury items. Comb through with conditioner if there were any bits or you just want to be sure.
For longer hair
Covered in savoury goop or anything with bits? Stand under the water and let the water rinse the worst off. Use your hands to run over your head and down the length of your hair to feel where the worst is and encourage it along by gently, very gently, massaging it out. Once the worst is gone, shampoo twice with strongly scented shampoo like lemon or tea tree, or both.
You can also use my fave shower gel, (original source lemon) instead of shampoo at this stage. Shampoo gently though, be careful not to rub it into your hair, rather just keep smoothing down and gently work it in with fingertips.
While your hair is wet you may not be able to feel all leftover lumps and bits or if it is still oily from savoury items, so it’s best to just presume you do. Proceed with these instructions regardless, even if you can’t feel anything weird.
So, after the initial rinses and shampooing, if you still have bits in your hair you might need lots of conditioner and a WIDE toothed comb - Be patient, let conditioner soak into your hair for a while if need be, then methodically use the wide toothed comb starting at the ends first and working up to roots.
Then rinse the whole lot off and shampoo again, and condition again if needed.
Cleaning Items & Objects
Baths & Showers
Avoid use of a bath or shower for sploshing where possible. Due to limited space and the need to clean the bath before cleaning yourself, it's just more comfortable and pleasant to keep the bath or shower more available and instead, set up a pool or inflatable massage mat or even a makeshift messy nest elsewhere (layers of good plastic propped up around the edges with blankets or towels) with more space to surround yourself with your messy session items.
If you decide to make a messy nest as described above, make sure to use heavy grade 125mu + polythene or the plastic will bunch up, float around and stick to you a lot (kinda kills the mood!)
If you really have to use the bath and any mess gets dried on, use a long lasting bathroom mousse or leave a wet cloth on top of the mark to help soak it off.
I like this bathroom mousse which is really good on starchy items, paint pigments, sugary items and more and I use a scrub daddy for any stubborn marks. A stiff bristled brush can also work well to help it along.
Avoid the bath situation with another fave of mine, the inflatable massage mat (usually the size of a double bed and easier to clean than a high sided pool)
If you block the drain, for oily and starchy things like spaghetti, a 15 minute drain unblocker will likely resolve the problem. The one I always keep available just in case is linked above. Just pour it through any standing water in the direction of the plug hole and leave it as long as possible... they claim 5 minutes but it can take up to 30, especially if pasta pieces are the problem.
Cleaning Inflatable Pools
If you want to save the pool
For getting potentially oily, orangey staining savoury stuff cleaned out of pools, a little more washing up liquid than usual may be needed to help get rid of oily residues. Other than that, my general pool cleaning advice applies. Scoop all the leftovers up into buckets, watering it down if need be, then tip it down the drain or flush down the loo. Then tip a bucket of warm and very soapy water into your pool, and give it a good scrub around with a brush.
Now scoop out and tip away or flush the dirty water, and keeping it inflated the whole time, clean the sides of the pool with a few microfibre cloths and a cleaning spray. If there are orangey stains, try applying a little neat thick bleach, leave it to work for ten minutes and then rinse well.
Then with the pool still inflated, stand it up against a wall and use the cleaning spray and microfibre cloths all over it. Dry it thoroughly with towels or kitchen roll and then allow to thoroughly air dry, still inflated, before trying to pack it away. If any moisture remains, it will go mouldy.
If you want to throw away the pool
If you used a small pool and a bucket or less of mess in total
You may be able to simply pop the pool, squash it and put it into a bin bag. If you do this, be mindful of avoiding leaks from the edges as you squash it up, put it into a bin bag, secure the bin bag and then put it inside another and seal again to be sure of no leaking. I often use three bin bags with this method, and with any other messy things that have to be thrown away.
If you used a large inflatable pool and more than one bucket of mess
For large amounts, you'll need to scoop out and dispose of everything before trying to bag it, or it will be too heavy. 10 litres is one bucket, and is the equivalent of 10kg. Even if you are strong enough to lift it easily, you risk the bin bag tearing if the contents are too heavy. Follow the above advice about absorbing the excess oil with wood pellet cat litter or puppy pads and bagging it up, before doing the same with the pool itself.
For any floor, a microfibre cloth and a little spray of water or clear antibacterial spray tends to make short work of it. Make sure you don’t use anything with bleach unless you know the carpet is certified for safe bleach use. This applies to carpeted or laminate flooring, tile or stone, microfibre cloths are your friend. Same for any splashes that have got onto a wall or door, or door handles etc.
If any splashes have dried on floors or walls, soak a microfibre cloth or a few sheets of kitchen roll with your cleaning spray and leave it on top of the dried mess for about 30 minutes. When you return it will just wipe away. If anything is still stuck, soak it again and use your stiff brush. On most ‘washing up’ brushes, there is a flat side on the bristly head that can be used to scrape without scratching. Dry the area afterwards.
Buckets & Tools
As with the other things, give any buckets, bowls and tools a ‘dry’ coating of neat washing up liquid/dish soap and a brushing first, then lots of warm soapy water and lots of rinsing is all you need, helping it along with a soft brush or cloth if need be.
Wrap them up in a large clean towel or drop into a clean bucket so they don’t drip on the way to your washing machine. Give them two or three full washing cycles, as hot as the fabrics will allow, all with 10% more than the recommended amount of laundry detergent or powder, and then a final wash cycle with a normal amount of detergent and fabric softener.
Biological detergent will help too, for at least one of the washes due to the use of food
Underwear, Lingerie, Tights & Stockings
Follow the above laundry advice but put tights and lingerie items in their own zip up mesh laundry bags, separate from each other. It's especially important to keep them separate from bras or anything with clasps or fastenings, as they will get snagged, potentially twist and rip, and be difficult to untangle.
You could also keep them separate to hand wash on their own. Bras, teddies, babydoll nighties, basques etc all need their own zip up mesh laundry bags, or like with tights and stockings, keep them separate for thorough hand washing individually.
Due to the oiliness they will need extra detergent and careful attention, and likely several cycles of washing, rinsing and wringing out.
Wash them in the sink as though you were washing dishes, but like with your hair and pool, get them covered in dish soap and rub it in well before getting them anywhere near water.
Stuff with newspaper and leave them somewhere warm to dry (but away from direct heat)
For wigs, hand washing is best. Be very gentle and use shampoo twice, rinsing each time. Then liberally soak it with hair conditioner and leave it for at least 30 minutes. Brush it out gently with a wet brush (a wet brush is a great invention and is the name of the brand) It's very gentle and good for head hair too.
Rinse thoroughly and wrap it in a towel, then apply pressure to dry it a little, do not rub it. Then keep away from direct heat to dry it, preferably hanging on something rounded to help it keep its shape, like a mannequin head.
Who Am I?
And why do I know stuff?
Well, I'm a UK based WAM producer and sometimes model with 15 years experience. For over 10 of those years I hosted a bonkers amount of wam sessions (3 or 4 a week) and I consider myself very lucky to have been able to do so... however I had to get very good at cleaning up quickly in the fairly small window of privacy I would get, and I had to leave no trace due to living in rented accommodation.
I also had to get inventive with substances and alternatives. I think all my trial and error experiments with WAM now mean there is literally nothing I haven't personally tried and in turn, there's nothing I haven't cleaned up either.
I love when other people go for it and enjoy getting messy, especially if it's because of something I did or said to encourage them. So if you're looking for a sign, this is it.. and with all my articles, I hope to give you the confidence to make your sessions bigger and messier and with a bonus of inner peace, knowing you can easily clean it all up too.
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